地府篇 第053章 香夫人(15)(1 / 2)

如意胭脂铺II 绾紫彤 1765 字 2022-11-12

“你是谁?”

“我是负责把你带到地府的鬼差。”

“鬼差?”郭华看着眼前那个染了一头绿毛,穿着松松垮垮,看起来像是不良青年的年轻男子:“鬼差能长成你这个样子?”

“我这个样子怎么了?不帅吗?”小绿撩了一下头发:“再说了,鬼差要长成什么样子才像是鬼差?”

“这个——”郭华仔细想了想,脑海中浮现出的竟是电视剧里经典的黑白无常的形象。

“你是不是觉得我应该穿个白大褂,戴个高高的三角帽,然后还得耷拉着长舌头。”小绿往自己身上比划了一下:“这都21世纪了,地府也是要与时俱进的好吧。我告诉你,这地府可比地上好玩多了。不信,你跟我下去看看。”

“我才不去!”郭华往后退了半步:“人死了才要去阴曹地府呢,我活得好好的,干嘛跟你去那种鬼地方。”

“活得好好的?”小绿摇头:“半个小时前,你或许还活得好好的,但现在,你死的透透的。趁着还热乎,赶紧跟我下去。”

“你这话什么意思?”

“我的意思是,你死了,你现在是一只鬼!”

“你才是一只鬼,你全家都是鬼!”

“没错啊,我是鬼差,当然是鬼,而且我家里人吧,基本也都不在了,四舍五入一下,你说的也不算错。”小绿晃晃了手里的锁魂链:“喏,是你自个儿跟我走呢,还是我把你强行的抓走。”

“坏人,你是坏人。”郭华说着转身就跑,可跑了没几步,她就停了下来,因为她看到了一扇门,一扇巨大无比的黑色的门。那门上,还写着三个字:“鬼门关”。

她先是大脑断档,紧跟着思绪就像是在放电影一样,将之前的一幕幕都给放映了出来。最后,她得出了一个结论,她是死了,而且还是从自家的阳台掉下去摔死的。她现在是一只鬼,而且还是一只被鬼差捉拿,试图逃走的鬼。

她呆呆地站在鬼门关前,茫然的回忆自己的一生,突然就蹲了下来,捂着脸呜呜的哭。

“哭啥啊,不就是个死嘛,人活百年,到了还得经历这么一遭。”

“我不想死。”

“稀罕,到这里来的有几个想死的,可人嘛,有生就有死。听哥哥的话,你得学会坦然接受。”

“我不想死!”郭华大声的喊着:“我还没活够,我不想死,我真的不想死。”

“那怎么办,你不想死也已经死了呀。”小绿摊摊手:“你现在有的这种心情,我曾经也有过。可在地府待习惯了之后吧,我反而觉得早死也没什么不好的。看你的样子,应该还没结婚吧?那恭喜你,至少你逃过了婆媳矛盾,逃过了生娃,带娃,养娃还有辅导娃功课的辛苦,逃过了可能有的丈夫的背叛,逃过了儿子结婚的压力,逃过了给儿子带娃的压力,逃过了被儿媳妇嫌弃的苦难的日子。你这么一想,是不是觉得心里好受多了?”

“我还没有谈过恋爱!”郭华抽泣着说:“我原本以为我还有很多的时间,很多很多的时间,我可以先把学业搞定,工作搞定,然后再去找个男人好好的谈恋爱。结果,我辛辛苦苦二十几年,大学毕业证还没拿,工作才刚刚开始,男朋友还没影儿呢,我就死了!我就死了!”

“就算拿了大学毕业证又能怎样?你能找到合心意的工作嘛?你能通过那份工作得到合心意的收入吗?你能应对职场的纷争,你争我夺吗?想要工作,地府也可以啊。我告诉你,上面有的,下面都有,只要你愿意,你可以随时随地的找工作,而且还能像我一样考取地府公务员。还有一样,是上面比不了的。在上面,如果你不工作,不赚钱,你会饿死。可在下面,就算你不工作,不赚钱,你也不会饿死,顶多就是不能过随心所欲的奢侈的生活罢了。没有谈过恋爱,这条的确够虐心的。这样吧,我呢,也没谈过,你要看我还行,咱们尝试着谈一谈,弥补一下双方曾有的遗憾?”

“谁要跟你谈,你又不是我喜欢的类型。”

“真够打击人的,那行,那你说你喜欢什么样的,只要你能说出来,我就能给你找到。”小绿拍着胸脯:“现在,你能跟我回去了吧?”

郭华想了一下,点点头。起身时,看到鬼门关上的那三个字,问小绿:“鬼门关就长这德性吗?”

“我不知道你眼里的鬼门关是什么样子的,但在我眼里,他就是一个破门。”

“破门?”

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