第846章 李义府的办事能力(1 / 2)

唐朝好医生 望平安 1626 字 2023-11-21

自从得了许敬宗的指点之后,李义府这段时间,一直在研究拍马屁的学问。拍马屁的精髓在于:要隐约含蓄和恰到好处。不能乱拍,否则有可能拍到马腿上,被马给踹了!

这些日子,李义府吃不香,睡不着,就想如果再见到王平安以后,该怎么上前搭讪,该怎么让王平安开心。经过一番深入的研究,李义府得出结论,王平安少年得志,正是飞扬跋扈的年纪,他一定最喜欢听超响的马屁,越夸张,越恶心的马屁,他一定越爱听!

可话又说回来了,这是很浅显的道理,大家拍起王平安的马屁肯定都会想到这点,如此一来,这种超响超恶心的马屁必多。而王平安听得多了,肯定就会不在乎了,说不定因为耳朵听出茧子来了,反而会不再爱听,别人一说他就烦。

那么,李义府的结论便是,不要直接夸王平安是多么的好,要先说自己的差,用以反衬王平安,这样既含蓄,又与众不同,就可以引起王平安的注意了。

李义府说起尚书省的事,王平安果然眨巴眨巴眼睛,没想起这回事来!

王平安道:“尚书省?那里本相倒是常去,可没有见过李大人啊!”

李义府心想:“要成,我准备的马屁要派上用场了!”他做出羞愧,且卑微的表情,甚至还往后退了一小步,小声道:“王相竟称卑职为大人,卑职当真是尴尬了。王相,上次在尚书省,您问卑职路,却没认出卑职是门下省的人,卑职当时很是自惭形秽,又加之见了王相,心中害怕,所以没敢多做解释,这次又见王相,这才鼓足勇气,向您自表姓名,当真是唐突了!”

王平安咝地抽了一小口的凉气,好家伙,果然是李义府啊,这马屁拍的,有水准啊!这话里没有半个字捧我,可直接把我捧上天去了;没有半句套交情,反而却有疏远之意,可实际上,我现在要是不拍拍他的肩膀,好好安慰他一番,那我的人品岂不是差到底儿了!

王平安嘿嘿了两声,很大方地满足了李义府的“恳求”,他伸手拍了拍李义府的肩膀,道:“李兄,这是说的什么话,本相可不爱听了。本相又不是吃人的老虎,你见了本相,又有什么好怕?再说了,你风采飞扬,少年……那个中年有为,怎么可以自惭形秽呢,太不应该了。好,咱们今天这不就熟了么,等哪日本相有暇,咱们一起喝酒去,本相作东!”

这话一说,把李义府乐得,就象是喝了蜜水一样,心里甜滋滋的。看来这段时间的功课没白做啊,这马屁拍上了呀!刚才还叫我李大人,现在都叫上李兄了,还要请我喝酒,看来我离升官不远了呀!

李义府忙道:“哪能让相爷您破费,还是由小人请您才是。只是小人薪资不多,置办不起太好的酒菜,要是王相不嫌弃,就让小人的妻子给您做几个菜吧,只不过……都是些家常菜,怕您吃不习惯!”

王平安笑道:“家常菜最是养人,本相吃腻了大鱼大肉,现在最喜欢吃家常菜了。只是怕是会麻烦李兄啊!”

他嘴上这么说,可心里却在想:“你要请我吃家常菜,我就得去你家,你又让老婆巴结我,难不成你为了升官,想献出老婆?这个可不好了,看你都这么大岁数了,你老婆年纪定然不小,要献也要献女儿,怎么能献黄脸婆呢,我可不会笑纳的!”

李义府哪知他心中所想,见王平安对他和颜悦色,心中欢喜,忙道:“不麻烦,不麻烦,小人愿意为相爷效力,小人的妻子也愿意。”

他不再自称卑职,又不再叫王相,而是称起小人和相爷来,从语言上拉近和王平安的距离,希望能成为王系的自己人。

王平安嗯了声,道:“呀,本相来衙门里干什么来的,忽然之间竟然不起来了。”他是来找替罪羊的,而眼前就有一只很温顺,很肥嫩的小咩咩,岂能放过。

李义府眼巴巴地看着王平安,心想:“果然是不管事的人啊,要是他能想起什么事来,然后让我去一办……嘿嘿,今天真是好日子啊,我老李的运气来了!”

王平安做出一副想起来的表情,啪地拍了一下手,道:“本相是来找人帮忙的,只因本相的父母大人今天将进京,行礼太多,想找人打个下手,帮忙处理些杂务。”

李义府大喜过望,果然是有事儿啊,太好了,衙门里的事儿也就算了,要是给长官家里办事,那可是再好不过,这一下子就能成为自己人啊!要是把王老太爷和王老太太巴结好,那以后没准还能经常去相府里坐坐……

想到自己以后的前途无限光明,别说是跟着王平安去接人,就算是搬家,他也立刻自告奋勇地去搬箱子!

李义府道:“相爷,小人正好办完了公务,要是相爷不嫌小人粗手笨脚的,那不如就让小人给您打下手吧!”

王平安看着李义府,点了点头,满脸的激赏,这个下属很懂做事,很有为领导排忧解难的觉悟,是个有作为的好下属!他笑道:“不会太麻烦李兄吧,倒让本相有点不好意思了!”

李义府差点儿感激得流下热泪,王相爷您可别不好意思,要是您不好意思,那我的前途可就会变得想好意思,也好意思不起来了。

小主,这个章节后面还有哦^.^,请点击下一页继续阅读,后面更精彩!

王平安一摆手道:“那就不去衙门里寻人了,就咱们吧。走,咱们出城接人去!”他一拉李义府的手,竟然大玩起携手同行了!

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