慕衍看着他黑色浓郁的双眼眸色微怔,微一沉吟说道“你后悔了吗?楚晏,经历了这么多你可曾有过一丝后悔,后悔为了报仇不顾一切,后悔为了报仇双手沾满鲜血,后悔为了报仇·······”与天下人为敌。 楚晏看了一眼慕衍眼中的深沉光泽,唇角微弯露出了笑意“后悔······楚晏看着朦胧的月色似是陷入了某种回忆,慕衍,三年前我曾后悔过,那时候我经常一个人偷偷溜出谷去,有时候回来的时候会带着小伤小痛,师父和娘就会瞪着我然后狠狠教训我一顿,然后面壁思过不许吃饭,可是我知道每次到了半夜的时候我晕晕乎乎总能看到师父模糊的身影,坐在床畔边一边为我上药一边无奈叹息,而娘就在一旁看着,眼里有掩饰不住的担忧······” 慕衍身子忽然抖了一下,他淡淡的语气却让他从头顶凉到了脚底,楚晏眼神直望着那朦胧的月色,空空洞洞一如他说话的语气,平淡而空洞却带着最深的凄楚,“最后一次,我离开的时候师父用一种很奇怪的眼神看着我,目光中带着不舍和担忧,还有隐隐的决绝,其实当时我曾犹豫过,可是······我还是走了,娘说桂花糕很好吃,我若是遇到的话就帮她买回来一些,师父说江湖险恶人心难测,要我千万要小心,我问师父,您需要我帮你带些什么?师父说,师父什么都不缺,你只要平安无事的回来比什么都好,然后我站在谷口,看着师父和娘一直怔怔地望着我,我不走,她们不回,然后我冲着他们笑着摆摆手,便毅然的离开······ 慕衍屏息凝神,仔细的听着,仿佛感觉到了他接下来要说的事情。 “等我再回到谷中的时候,漫漫风雪整个谷中都是彻骨寒凉的冷,娘和师父的尸体就被盖在两卷草席下,我的手蓦的一松桂花糕全都掉在了地上,我轻轻的用手拨开覆在上面的雪,然后缓缓揭开,她们的脸色惨白,没有一点呼吸,这个时候我才意识到,原来她们已经死了······我将地上的桂花糕捡起来,每吃一块就含糊不清的叫一声娘和师父,直到······地上的桂花糕都被我吃完了,而我叫了那么多声······她们都没有理我,我就那么静静的坐在一旁看着她们,直到风雪停住,直到我的四肢冷的僵硬,直到我的心里只剩下恨,直到她们的死状深深的刻在我的脑子里······” 楚晏缓缓转过头,看着慕衍,慕衍看着他眼眸里的寒冰忍不住一阵心寒,“慕衍,我后悔,若我不曾离开,是不是她们就不会死?若我安安分分的待着,是不是她们就不会死?若我从未活在这世上,是不是她们就不会死?” 楚晏每问一句慕衍的身子就抖一下,慕衍的声音始终沉默,他的每一句话都沉甸甸的落在他的心上,他的脸色始终静的像寒冰,慕衍的手覆上他的,只觉得触手冰凉,几乎不像活人一般。 “慕衍,若是可以,我倒是希望从未出现在这江湖之中,可是,从她们死的那天起,我就来不及后悔。”他的嗓音低沉而冷冽,仿佛带着与生俱来的冷漠寒凉。 “你还记的了空大师说过的话吗?世事遇合变幻,虽有关机缘运气,自有幸与不幸之别,但归根到底还是在于人的心,我知道现下不管是谁都无法让你放弃报仇,但若是等你大仇得报,我们再回那寺里看看慧觉小师父吧,这江湖虽大,但真心以待的人却没有几个,” 楚晏挑眉看着他轻笑出声“怎么,看破红尘了,我倒是觉得你和那小和尚蛮投缘的,不若你也出家去,我看他定会高兴的很。” 慕衍看着他眼中的灼灼笑意,双眸微眯面色有些微怔,他以为这是他心中极痛的往事,可是在他平平淡淡的说完以后,还是一副漫不经心的样子,连语气也不曾变过,也许,这些深埋在他心里的恨早已变得坚固,变得习惯,即使生死关头对他来说都不以为然,一天报不了仇,那么恨就在他的心里扎着,愈扎愈深、愈扎愈痛,所以现在他才变成这般模样,肆意妄为、执拗决绝。 楚晏看他沉默不语,一双眼却怔怔地看向远处,一副若有所思的样子,略显得意的挑眉看着他道“慕衍,若到了那一日我还有命在的话,陪你回去看看也无妨,我先走了,这里看日出的话倒是美的很。”说着起身跃下。 楚晏毫不迟疑地向前走去,只是走了几步脚步一顿,微微侧头瞥了一眼慕衍,他还是眉目沉凝的凝视着自己,清冷的俊颜透着丝丝凉意,楚晏微微扯出一抹淡笑,声音低不可闻“慕衍,即使报仇之后我还活着······也怕是没有那个机会了,” 慕衍的心神从他的凝望中脱离出来,只是楚晏早已离去,自然,楚晏的话慕衍并未听见,这么多年一个人的心中只有仇和恨,即使被人唾骂、算计、指责、追杀,他还是义无反顾,他的生命中就只有报仇二字,别的什么都不在意,想到此处,忽然之间,长叹一声,心中不免替他感到一阵悲苦,天色将明,他缓缓起身,心道,既然双鱼佩还在这庄中,就一定要想办法打探到它的下落,若是被有心人知道抢先一步的话那就更难拿到手了。
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