第五卷 度假山庄事多多 第230章 他大舅他二舅都是他舅(1 / 2)

名著反派救助站 坣昇 2013 字 2022-04-12

好一会儿特效版玄奘率先开口:“贫僧其实不完全是玄奘。”

灭辣版玄奘也紧接着闪烁其词:“咱俩离着旃檀功德佛虽有差,却也不远已。”

罗炜扶额,其实已经有所预料:“究竟是怎么个意思,感觉照你俩的说法,敢情之后还能变身的!”

特效版玄奘对这个说法若有所思:“努努力,那也是极有可能的。”

灭辣版玄奘则眼睛一亮:“虽不中亦不远矣。”

罗炜傻眼:“真能变身?你俩也凹凸曼了吧!”

特效版玄奘虽不大理解,还是解释道:“我都打听清楚了,你们这里的玄奘法师并没有成佛,旃檀功德佛的位置这不就虚悬了,还有比贫僧更适合成为旃檀功德佛的吗?”

灭辣版玄奘不干了:“什么你就最合适了,有你什么事,谁亲谁疏不是明摆着的。”

特效版玄奘冷哼:“不就是个堂弟,都出家几辈子了,还指望这点关系,贫僧还是首徒呢,请问,你算老几?”

灭辣版玄奘嗤笑:“首徒不就是个名头而已,还真当自己是大师兄了,不过是讨巧卖乖的得了我堂哥的喜欢而已。”

特效版玄奘跳脚:“我是尊佛职以首徒之名管理众弟子的。”

灭辣版玄奘嘲笑道:“就是个看家护院的大总管而已,碰上真章的,还不是争不过我堂哥倾力培养的那位。”

特效版玄奘瞪眼:“你!哼,没我的份,就有你什么事了吗?”

……

这二人再一次吵了起来,罗炜头痛,一拍门板:“闭嘴,赶紧报上名来,我就想知道你俩是谁,怎么这么多废话!”

没等他俩把该说的憋出来,先前二人想逃跑时打开的窗外,隔着铁栅栏,雕兄的声音传了进来,一指特效版玄奘:“他叫摩柯迦叶,”又指灭辣版玄奘,“他叫阿难陀。”

原来是西游进入倒计时出场的迦叶尊者和阿难尊者。

话说西游小分队千辛万苦终于来到了灵山圣地,拜见了佛祖,却因不曾送人事给他俩,只取得了无字经。后来,经过燃灯古佛派出的白雄尊者的提醒,小分队才发现了端倪重返雷音寺。尽管告了这俩人一状,最终也没能让二人收敛,到底还是奉上了唐王所赠的紫金钵做了人事,这才求得真经返回东土大唐。

堂堂两位大尊者,无所顾忌的公然索贿,简直匪夷所思,其嘴脸给人留下了深刻的印象。听了二人全程的争吵,罗炜大约也明白了这种有恃无恐的出处。阿难陀就不说了,他是如来的堂弟,打断骨头连着筋。摩柯迦叶这个首徒阿难陀虽然貌似不大待见,如果放到一个国家里,大约就是皇帝身边的太监大总管的角色,即便官不大,却是让下头人又骂又怕的主。

摩柯迦叶和阿难陀一见来人,任他们再牛气哄哄,也瞬间鹌鹑了,前者恭恭敬敬的喊了一声:“迦楼罗尊者。”后者则谄媚的叫人:“舅舅。”

雕兄瞪了一眼阿难陀:“谁是你舅舅,别乱叫。”人家说的也没错,别说他自己膈应和如来之间的这层关系,真论起来,堂兄弟的身份压根不是一个爸,更不会是一个妈,这声舅舅就更没处寻根了。

罗炜见雕兄能镇住这俩货,赶紧开门打算把人迎进来。谁知雕兄根本不进门,冷着一张脸:“你急三火四的把我喊过来,就是为了这两个东西?”

罗炜看看沙发这头,又瞅瞅门外头那头,很想把他俩冒充唐僧的这件事说出来,结果得到两串泪汪汪,弱小可怜又无助的乞求眼神,心里就有数了。估计他今天要把这件事情抖落出去,雕兄能立马把这俩给灭了。灭了已经是天大的事了,要再度招来天打雷劈,水月庵那头可还有驻军和科学疯子守着呢!

见三个人都不说话,雕兄甩甩衣袖,连看都不多看一眼的走了。罗炜这才松了一口气,想了想,感觉还得拿捏一下这俩惯常无法无天的主,指了指远去的背影,“狗仗人势”道:“雕兄来这里时间也不短了,我俩颇为相投,你们应该知道,我叫罗炜,而雕兄在这里对外的名字叫罗琼,我是拿他当亲哥看的,明白我的意思吧!”

人精一样的俩和尚秒懂,阿难陀率先表态:“迦楼罗尊者虽然不认我这个外甥,可哪怕跟着我堂哥那边叫,我也得叫他一声舅舅的,既然是舅舅的兄弟,那我该叫您一声二舅的。”

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