第4章 都是他娘的淫才(1 / 2)

杨帆如果放任不管的话,白友乐有可能真的会死哦。

但是杨帆还算宅心仁厚,还是选了救他一命。

他拽着白友乐坐下,亲自给他沏了杯茶,耐心安慰:“正所谓练功先学医,身为修仙者,不懂医道怎么行?你的内伤虽然很重,但也不是不能治,我这里恰好有师父亲手炼化的灵丹,你且拿回去慢慢敷用。舒筋活血化瘀。”

杨帆又认真叮嘱白友乐一句:“兄弟,我有一句话必须要告诫你,年少年不知精气之珍贵,老来望那个东西空流泪。今后,你不要再躲在被窝里,对着美女的图片练手艺了…

“正儿八经找个女朋友,也比自娱自乐强!你若是能在这段时间内,节食戒色。等百日筑基之后,你的身子骨会慢慢转好的。”

朋友,这是真朋友啊!

白友乐的眼泪稀里哗啦地流啊。

他朝着杨帆又是鞠躬又是作揖:“多谢大师兄给小弟疗伤,师兄放心,今后我白友乐就是你最忠实的狗腿子,今后谁敢对你出手,俺就用这双沙包大的拳头砸扁他。”

送走了野猪白友乐,颜饭背上竹篓,继续漫山遍野砍伐竹笋。

“师父,饭来了!”

祖贤怀抱鲜嫩多汁的竹笋,先是伸出香舌轻舔翠绿的竹干,然后开心地大嚼竹叶。

我艹。

师父的小舌头还真是灵活啊…

知道的这是修仙界的掌门,不知道的,还以为这是一只…食铁兽。

“咦,帆儿,你在一旁愣着干啥,这竹笋可香嫩了,一起吃啊!”

杨帆苦笑一下:“算了,我牙口真不行...”

“竹笋这么嫩,汁多水多,你竟然不爱啃,太可惜了!”

吃饱喝足,师徒俩席地而坐,开始日常的各种不着调的胡侃。

祖贤一如既往地打趣问他:“喂,我说帆儿,你生的这般俊俏模样,宗门内有没有小姑娘追求你啊?”

杨帆一脸看破恋爱真理的样子,痞痞地说:

“年少不知富婆好,错把少女当成宝。比起那些没长成的无知幼女,我更喜欢抱富婆的大腿…”

祖贤黛眉一挑,似笑非笑道:

“赫赫,真没看出来啊,我徒儿小小年纪就知道傍富婆了?”

杨帆悠悠地吟唱道:“年少不知软饭香,错把青春倒插秧,回头再把富婆找,然而富婆早已跑。富婆好,富婆香,富婆是黑暗中的一缕光!

只要富婆把握住,连夜搬进大别墅!”

祖贤楞了一下,掩嘴娇笑:“这都什么跟什么吗?杨帆,就这种顺口溜你都跟哪学的,你还有吗?”

杨帆一本正经道:“有,师父听好了:晚上衣脱光,一人爬上床。身边没女人,难以入梦乡。”

杨帆还没说完,祖贤已经笑倒。

“你这小子啊,别的正经东西没学会,倒不知道从哪里学到的这些俗言浪语。”

上梁不正下梁歪,这还不是被你这个不着调的师父给带歪的?

祖贤突然严肃道:“杨帆,咱说点正事吧。平日里我也没怎么传授你的功法,今日为师有时间,我要传授给你一个修仙界最基本的功法,请你注意我的嘴巴,跟着我一起练...吞吐!”

吞....吐...

这个,我喜欢...

看着杨帆脸上那坏坏的笑意,祖贤脸微微一红,操起戒尺用力敲了他脑壳一下。

“喂,你在乱想什么?”

“哎呦,好模样的你打我干啥子?你要不是乱想又怎么知道我在乱想什么?那你说,我在乱想什么?”

杨帆一脸委屈。

“我说的吞吐,乃是指指道家平日所练的吐纳之术。主要从调理呼吸的软硬粗细着手,算了,跟你说你也不明白...”

杨帆摸着后脑勺似懂非懂:“哦,是不是修炼了这吞吐之术,今后身体真的就能想硬就硬,想软就软,那我今后可得好好练!对了师父,你让我洞悉人性,忍常人之所不能忍,磨砺道性!这究竟是何意?”

“忍不了也要忍,小道谋局,大道谋天。要想成就大事,首先要学会忍耐!”

“我真的很想忍,可无论我怎么忍,还有人不断对我进行各种挑衅!我真的很想忍,可是有的时候真的忍不住!这怎么破?”

“你的心里从一数到一千,做一百个深呼吸,让自已的心跳慢慢平和下来,然后再找准时机给对方的屁股眼儿以精准的一击!”

“可是他们人多势众怎么破?”

“你啊,要学会动脑子!这就好比一群笨蛋都挤在一条快要沉的破船上,你不要一杆子打倒一船人,而是要制造他们之间的矛盾,让他们内讧起来,然后集体跳船..”

“师父,你皮肤虽白,可心真够厚黑。对了师父,徒儿还发现,在这宗门内,除了你之外....我真的连一个朋友都没有啊……”

“没有就没有,这有什么的,为师也没有。”

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