第198章 到底有没有侵犯圆柱体(2 / 2)

篮球,人生 冯之音 0 字 2021-10-21

心狠的不只他自己,爱笑的唐笑一点不比他差,从后场就看到石心野慢悠悠往前溜达,余光还不住朝后扫,唐笑立刻就明白了他的意图。

“还挺积极,”唐笑居然一边运球一边跟高大上聊起天来,“你说你个子那么矮何苦打篮球,去电影基地竞聘特种演员多好,要是你cospy提利昂兰尼斯特,谁能竞争过你呀?”(注:提利昂兰尼斯特是奇幻小说《冰与火之歌》中的主要人物,是位侏儒。)

俗话说矬人面前别说短话,唐笑够损的,高大上最忌讳别人拿他身高开涮,顿时火往上撞。

突然场上场下惊呼声一片,队友们惊慌的提示音纷纷响起,高大上却完完全全没反应过来到底发生了什么状况。

石心野突然在高大上身后站住,挺胸抬头,两脚自然开立,稳如泰山,目露凶光。

要说唐笑简直是坏到家了,他利用垃圾话吸引高大上的注意力,然后瞄着石心野就加速冲了过去,两人这个套路配合的熟练无比,废掉的后卫十根手指都数不过来,眼见新的倒霉蛋即将诞生,如果全场身体最瘦弱的人撞在最强壮的人身上,结果可想而知。

向天闯在场下看的真切,刚才被对方搞的生不如死那幕恍若重现,吓得他绝望的闭上了眼睛,然后就听到郭无忧的声音:

“老高老高小心小心压!……哎呀妈呀,咦?”

怎么会是“咦”?难道不是高大上三轮车怼城墙,粉身碎骨稀巴烂么?

向天闯睁开一只眼瞄去,“咦?”他也愣住了,原来场上根本没人摔倒,高大上此时的位置……居然是在石心野的身后!两人呈背靠背的体位伫立,彼此目瞪口呆,宛如两只木鸡。

“哎呀~”石心野突然大叫一声翻身跌倒,捂着脑袋做痛不欲生状。

高大上一副心有余悸的表情,张大嘴看了石心野十秒钟,这才试探着问:“你、你不会是假摔呢吧?”

唐笑则义愤填膺的对裁判投诉:“这是很明显的进攻犯规呀,你怎么不吹哨?”

裁判鼻子都气歪了,强忍着吐槽之心对石心野说:“你别过份啊,刚才我就在旁边,人家根本就没碰着你。”

石心野腾地坐起身来质问道:“谁说没碰着?没碰着我咋倒了呢?”说完躺地下继续翻滚,耍上无赖了。

全场观众却已经快要笑疯了,冲着石心野各种起哄各种嘘。

到底发生了什么呢?

原来当发现石心野存心搞自己的时候,高大上的心思都在跟唐笑斗气上呢,完全没反应过来,可是跟此前着道的冯筝和向天闯比起来,他有个得天独厚的优势,那就是——矮。

电光火石之间,在马上要撞到石心野岩石般结实的身体时,高大上忽然下意识的蹲了下去,使出了一个跟京剧里的丑角“矮脚虎”王英、武大郎一般的“走矮子”动作,上半身保持笔挺,两条腿蓦地蹲下且继续行走,就这么从石心野的两条腿之间用蹲姿走着穿了过去。

特技立交桥式屏障宣告失败,石心野差点没被对手这个动作给搞疯了,以至于反射弧长了点,假摔也来的晚了点。

而裁判看的准了点,石心野也觉得自己演的差了点,所以干脆破罐子破摔,撒气泼来。

唐笑还继续在那儿边跟裁判争辩:“刚才那种情况,石心野站着没有动,他的身体就是一个圆柱体没错吧?对方球员作为一个人类,从圆柱体中央穿了过去,这难道不算侵犯圆柱体么?侵犯圆柱体不算犯规?”

裁判点图:“石心野刚才的动作确实构成了圆柱体。”

唐笑:“对吧?”

裁判白了他一眼又说道:“但是在篮球规则里,如果没有发生身体接触,就不算侵犯圆柱体也不构成犯规。要按着你那么论,这球场上一共十个圆柱体呢,是个圆柱体我就得响哨呗?”

唐笑急得直跺脚:“但是碰着了呀,碰着肯定是犯规呀。”

裁判不理他,转而问高大上:“刚才你碰到他了么?”

高大上正色回答:“绝对没碰着,我可以发誓,连根毛没碰着。”

石心野一骨碌爬了起来威胁道:“小子你是不是皮子紧欠松呀?你一个大活人,就算个子挫了点,钻裤裆还能啥都没碰到?不怕老天爷一个雷咔嚓劈了你?”

高大上面色毫无变化,抬手理了理头发反唇相讥:“你怪谁呀?要说你爹妈把你生的块头不小,为啥偏偏比例失调呢?”

石心野完全没听懂:“说啥呢?啥意思?”

场下突然传来向天闯几乎笑抽了的声音:“我给你翻译翻译,人家的意思就是——谁怪你长的那么小~!比例稍微正常点,估计躲都躲不开。”

于是现场几千人同时都把目光聚焦在石心野身体的某个点上,恶贯满盈的石心野突然莫名其妙感觉两腿一软,只想在地板上找个洞钻进去了此一生……

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