27不亏为受的称号(1 / 2)

    月老在讲座里特别谈到,用红线牵着的男男女女,在心理层面不能离得太远。如果离得太远,一个人的一次转身,另外一个的心脏就会狠狠的的疼痛一下。据说这是一个bug,由于当初的红线技术有问题,但月老又要求做得又长又细,导致没有弹性造成的。

    ——摘自月老事业团队某销售经理笔记

    “你再把刀插进去一点试看看。”我手脚都被绑住,像一条离开水的鱼,被刮了鳞片,只能反反复复的挣扎来表示自己还活着且能自如的对韩笛目露凶光。

    韩笛看着笑得更加不可抑制:“田道长,你到底能用什么来威胁我?是用身体,还是眼泪啊?”她又得意的把在冯安安胸前插着的刀往里送了送,我看到的是冯安安紧紧咬着牙,一声不吭倔强的任她凌虐。

    我本应该对血不陌生,从小就被师父指派去杀鸡杀鱼杀狗,杀前两种代表有肉可吃,杀后一种代表有鬼可杀有钱可拿。在我印象中,血,就代表着肉食和金钱,没什么不好。可当这些血是从冯安安的伤口涌出,染红她的t恤时,我讶异自己无法控制的巨大愤怒,我几乎用最沙哑的声调叫着:“你有本事就一刀弄死她,或者弄死她之后再确定能不能弄死我,不然你就得小心翼翼的过下半辈子,我会追杀你,一直到天涯海角,要让你死得比她痛苦一万倍。”

    冯安安看起来特别感动,艰难的吐出一句:“果然上升星座是射手座。”是鄙视我有勇无谋吗?这种忽然想起自己是个星座专家的节操,是因为开始进入弥留状态吗?我一点一点的蹭到冯安安边上,问:“你没看到奈何桥吧?”冯安安的血肆意的流着,染在我的衣服上,触目惊心,我大声咒骂起不知死到哪里去了的师父和白小花,难道她们不知道她女儿快垂危了吗。

    韩笛不管这么多,她蹲下来,把那幅卷轴塞到我面前:“不让她死,很简单。你把它念完我就放了你。要知道,白骨精身子骨可经不起这么长时间的折腾。”

    我笑了:“你当我傻子?要么你们先给她止血再放她走,我就考虑念这咒语启动九环锡杖。要么你就把我俩都杀了,虽然我是个贪生怕死的人,但是我最大乐趣也是不给自己留后路,你们不给我器皿自杀也行,我大可以把自己舌头嚼嚼吞了。你就带着一根没用的棍子和一个只会手语的哑巴回去给你boss交差吧。”我说这话的时候显得特别平静,甚至能用眼神轻蔑的看着韩笛,但只有偷偷握着我的手的冯安安知道我吓得颤抖。

    这段话使得本就站在一边袖手旁观的红娘团体abcdef更加窃窃私语。血液里流淌着“love and peace”的这群人对于韩笛激烈的做法有些不能苟同,大概是看多了情侣之间的生死相依,对这种现象有点感同身受。所以一头长发的红娘a站了出来,对韩笛低声道:“月老是要田一和九环锡杖,我们得赶在申时把她押到鸿禧堂。你以前又不是没和她对着干过,她要你放了那白骨精你就放呗,反正受了这么重的刀伤,怕也是活不成了。”

    看来以市价来说,混血者田一的价格高过于白骨族官二代。我轻轻的按了按冯安安的手,千言万语无法表达,全靠这几个几乎没有人发觉的小动作。

    韩笛埋头仔细思量了一会儿,道:“我把这白骨精放了,你就肯定和我们合作?”看来韩警官在人类警界混得时间还太短,不知道大多数犯罪分子从来都保持着“抗拒从严,回家过年”的好习惯,以为我和仙风道骨的各位大神们一样,言出必行。

    “反正,你不放,那我肯定就不会合作,如果你记得我当年是多么的无赖的话。”我猜想我当年一定是狠狠的整过这一票人,她们看起来对我都充满了畏惧,明明我啥都没干,尽受人威胁罢了。韩笛听到我说这句话,脸稍微一红,让我有种不好的烂桃花的预感。

    于是她们就开始围成一个圈,开始投票选择到底是放冯安安,还是不放。为啥现在中国剩女剩男这么多,从红娘的那工作效率就可知道这都是她们造的孽。

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